The 2 biggest reasons why we’re addicted to fear and how to change it

Have you ever resisted the feeling of joy, in fear that something terrible would happen. Do you find yourself in fear more than feeling satisfied and happy? You’re not the only one. So what are the 2 biggest reasons why we’re addicted to fear?

By AMBER AARDENBURG

Well first of all it is it is important to understand that fear is a mechanism of our body to warn us about possible danger. And although this is a good thing, our brain can also overreact as a champ. Your brain decides if something is a possible threat or not, through experiences from our past. This is necessary to protect us, especially  growing up. To understand the dangers of life or for example what food your body can’t tolerate and what situations can result in not having your primary needs met. But overtime this mechanism can also stand in your way of taking risks, and even experiencing joy and love. But more about that later. If you think about the way your brain remembers which experiences caused you pain, made you feel lonely, wrong or not good enough, it ’s not so strange that your mind wants to protect you from ever having to experience those feelings again. For example, when your older brother treated you as though you weren’t smart enough, irritating etc. You would find a way to not feel like this again. You might try to people please or be on your own in your household, because you don’t want to feel not good enough again. You see, it is not so much only about life threatening situations your mind want to protect you from anymore. Your brain is also trained to eliminate the feelings that don’t feel good.

What has that to do with joy and love? Well, have you ever felt that when you where in a really good place, you feel happy, everything is oké. Your mind wanders off and you feel as though it’s not good to experience those feelings wholeheartedly. Because, what if you feel them and they will soon go away. You think something like “This isn’t true, this won’t last” and there you go. You’re now in the fear mode all over again. And you’re not alone. For a lot of people the feeling of fear has taking up a big piece of what they know as their reality. And it can get more intense than my previous examples. Did you know that, “anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S.,” affecting around 40 million adults — almost 1 in 5 people today? But why is it that we’re so caught up about what could go wrong?

It becomes harder if we are used to feeling this way and having it reflect back to us through our media consumption and also think about our parents raising us with this mentality as well. 

The picture in our minds
If you pay attention to the news and even the entertainment on youtube etc. negativity is the thing that is most common to be watched. It is everywhere. There is a huge scarcity culture, because it sells. We tend to remember negative words more versus positive ones. Proven through an experiment by researchers Marc Trussler and Stuart Soroka, run at McGill University in Canada.
We are conditioned to be aware of negativity because it is all around us. So it’s easier to stay in fear. Because that is what you have known, that’s what society is almost promoting. So if we want to stop staying in fear it’s almost as if we trying to change our attention to what we perceive around us. It becomes harder if we are used to feeling this way and having it reflect back to us through our media consumption and also think about our parents raising us with this mentality as well. Who were likely shown the same example by their parents and so on. So why is it so hard to come out of our autopilot fear minds and experience more peace and joy instead, while we’re programed to lean towards fear? 
Feeling joy is scary. In order for us to feel joy and other genuine positive emotions, we have to be vulnerable first. But because we are used to be protected by our minds, to not feel scary emotions as such, it’s easier to stay in fear. When you know that most of the time we are trying to avoid difficult emotions and we rather stay comfortable right were we are. It can be hard to be open to the possibility that there is another way. Because being vulnerable is not something most of us are looking forward to. Even courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy research professor Brené Brown tried to find a way out. 
But her research showed that if you want to feel joyful, it requires being vulnerable. Accepting that yes there is a possibility that it won’t last, but feeling everything anyway. But here’s the thing, you experience fear after you’ve had a thought that caused a trigger, a fear trigger. And Because you have certain triggers that make you feel fearful, you first have to become aware of the triggers that make you go into the feelings of fear. If you know what thoughts triggered you, you can also reprogram your mind. Becoming aware is necessary if you want to reprogram your mind. You’ll have to get to the core of the fearful story you’ve been playing in your head. So knowing what fearful stories your mind is playing, understanding what happens in your mind, can help you to become aware of why you feel the fear. And when you can heal the triggers that lie beneath your fear, you won’t feel the need to stay in the fear mode anymore. When you’re able to choose joy over fear, when you choose to be grateful anyway, and heal the underlying fear triggers. You can feel so much more peace and joy in your life. It is just a matter of becoming aware and healing the underlying triggers. When you do that, when you start to consciously take action to ask yourself “what story am I telling myself and is it true” for  example, you won’t feel addicted to fear anymore.
 
Do you want to get starred to choose joy and love over fear? The first step is to connect with your heart and to truly listen to your desire. Through being able feel what you want and need. You’re able to make choices that will benefit you instead of letting life happen to you. Trough my free Source meditation I help you connect with that beautiful place within you. You can find it under the Get Started tab.

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